Sometimes, there will be painful emotions we must go through, before the blessings of God are enacted in our lives. As an infant and a toddler, there were deep emotional struggles I experienced before I was officially adopted into my loving family, since I was passed back and forth to various people before my final adoption at around 15 months old. They are as much a part of me, as though they were biological family -- in some ways, even more. That is how much I love them, and belong to them as a daughter and sister. Many times growing up, I forgot I was adopted – despite my very different look compared to my family.
Growing attached to someone, and then detaching was a very difficult process for me. However, by God’s grace, I overcame these emotional hardships as a child, and the underlying struggles I dealt with later on as a relational individual. Those feelings and emotions were hidden and unidentified, because I've always felt at home with my family. If I didn't know how close I was to a meaningful friendship, I almost felt like I had to "guard myself", and thus became moody. It was an insecurity ruling my life growing up, where I "had to know" how meaningful I was to them back, or else I felt vulnerable and as though I could get hurt like I was when I was constantly ripped away from people I loved as a baby and a toddler. Having to know who I was to someone was an unhealthy insecurity that I didn't understand. It wasn't until I took those underlying, emotional struggles to God, that He revealed to me the root cause. By clinging to Him, I grew through it for the better. To keep pushing it off would've been a detriment to my character and who I was, because it would've remained hidden, unknown, and quite possibly grown worse.
My point is, sometimes we are going to have to walk a journey of emotional pain before stepping into a better area of life God meant for us. We can have joy and freedom! It's not always about avoiding emotional pain at whatever cost, but choosing to grow through that pain during the journey. I chose to love and embrace my family. I chose to work through attachment and detachment struggles by taking them to God and allowing Him to work in me. I would have never grown through it, nor would I have become stronger, had I tried to handle it all myself, or ignore it, rather than go before God in my time with Him. Had I tried to overcome such emotions on my own, and just will myself through it, I wouldn't be joyful, warm, and as embracing. I would be this super, intense I-don't-need-anyone-in-my-life-person. I would've been a lot of things, but you get the point. This story is just one of many examples; there have definitely been many more types of emotional struggles I've had to, and will STILL have to, grow through! So, we are in this together!!!
As tough as life can be with various emotional struggles, it is my hope and prayer for you to gain strength and be encouraged through less than easy processes. I encourage you to be intentional, strong, and motivated. But most of all, I encourage you to allow yourself to be open before God with whatever you are going through in life. Yes, He is a mighty and powerful God, but He is also the One you can trust the most when in a vulnerable place while bearing your heart.
I randomly desire to sit and relax at a campfire with good company on a grey-skied day and a cool breeze.